OMGosh, the greatest email from Georgie today.
Here's the original post -
Go read it and come back!
I can raise my hand to having eaten for all those reasons. Not wanting to feel anything and as an exciting boredom diversion were probably my top ones, with rebellion, sleep deprivation, and anxiety soothing rounding out my top five.
The sleep deprivation one was resolved by getting enough sleep. The rebellion one by not restricting. The other ones resolved when I learned to question painful thoughts. In every case, I'd have a painful or untrue thought, the thought would create an emotion, and the emotion would lead to a behavior. Only, while it's happening it just feels like Georgie said, "Aaaaargh, bad feelsÖ. Need cookie!!!!!Ē That's hard to argue with. It just IS, or at least it feels that way. If you can step back, take a breath, and identify what you're feeling, then you create a little bit of space between you and the uncomfortable feeling. The space allows you to see it as something separate from yourself, allowing you to observe or question it.
Of course, I like to Byron Katie my thoughts. Here's a made-up example.
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that itís true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Then, you turn it around. Could the opposite also be true?
1. My boss is a manipulative jerk-face moron who is out to get me. I'll never be free of him.
2. Yep, totally true. Maybe. I guess there are times when he's not. But still!!!
3. When I believe that thought: I get a knot in my stomach. I can feel my heartbeat in my eyeballs. My fists clench. My breathing gets shallow. My mood plunges and I become angry and impatient with people. I can't relax. I yell at the dog. I snap at my family. I want to cry and eat cake.
4. Without the thought, I'd be fine. I'd be enjoying an evening at home, connecting with loved ones instead of scaring them. I'd feel physically good. I'd enjoy my comfortable at-home clothes. I'd notice the nice weather. I'd smile and laugh.
Possible turn-arounds for "My boss is a manipulative jerk-face moron who is out to get me. I'll never be free of him."
- "My boss is NOT a manipulative jerk-face moron who is out to get me. I will be free of him." Hmmm... I guess he's not always that way. I guess I could find another job and be free of him. Or I could leave thoughts of him at work and be free of him.
- "I am a manipulative jerk-face moron who is out to get me. I'll never be free of me." Oh, hell. LOL That one hits home because I know that technically, I'm terrorizing myself here. All of these stressful thoughts are coming from my own mind. My boss is not in my kitchen right now, ruining my evening.
I thought I'd throw that out there since that process of inquiry has helped me so much. In every case, my pain has been caused by my past/future stories about a situation or person. Realizing that takes the drama down about 25 notches.
Do you struggle with emotional eating? What has helped?