From skwigg's journal:
I had a thought while I was walking the dog this morning. I'm wondering if this has been the case for anyone else. I had to learn to be relaxed, confident, and comfortable in my skin at a higher weight before I could accomplish that same mindset at a lower weight. Otherwise, the lower weight was always maintained with an element of fear.
So, I couldn't have gone right from underweight to maintaining a happy, easy low weight, and I couldn't have gone right from a loathsome, "unacceptable" higher weight to an effortless low weight. Because then your food behaviors are driven by fear. What will happen if I gain?!?!
I already know what will happen if I gain. Nothing. I'm the same happy person living life and enjoying my food either way. So, I can make food decisions based on my appetite and preferences without regard for what it does to my weight. That's what makes any weight "happy" in my mind. Living at it is stress-free. It doesn't require extreme measures or constant vigilance. That's where I think ditching the scale can be so beneficial. Then all you have is how how you feel, how you treat yourself, and what you prefer, separate from weight.
My last big leap forward in food/body peace, before the Intuitive Eating Workbook leap, was when I finally quit weighing myself. I realize that I started doing it again this spring when I got the puppy. I have to weigh myself to weigh Cooper to buy the right dose of flea/worm medicine as he grows. I step on with him in my arms and then subtract my weight without him. Maybe I should start weighing him at the vet's office where they don't have to weigh me too. LOL
What do you make of the idea that you need to be relaxed/confident/comfortable at higher weights to be in that same head space at lower ones? Or else take weight out of it altogether by ditching the scale? Thoughts?
From skwigg's journal:
I had to find moderation and happy eating first (trust, confidence, joy), regardless of what it did to my weight. Then I kept expanding on that, pursuing even more trust, confidence, and joy. Really great things happened as a result!
For me, any deliberate effort to create a deficit for the purpose of weight loss was like bashing my face into a brick wall. It only produced more of what I didn't want: obsession, anxiety, a scarcity mindset, and feelings of helplessness, none of which is actually conducive to weight loss. So, instead of coming at it from the old ineffective deficit angle, I focused on making life better in the present moment. What will help me to feel proud before, during, and after I eat? How can I enjoy my food more? What makes me feel strong? What makes me laugh? What do I really need right now? What am I grateful for today? What did I learn?
By emphasizing quality of life, my eating improved along with everything else. I don't mean "improved" as in suddenly developing a love for low-calorie, kale-based meals. I mean that I was better able to recognize hunger and fullness. I learned to sleep when I was tired and cry when I was sad (not eat or restrict). I ate food that truly satisfied me, so I found it a lot easier to stop eating. I became more consistent about eating meals, and being hungry for those meals.
It came together in such a way that I wasn't deliberately trying to eat less, so I wasn't experiencing any of the fallout. That made all the difference in terms of ease and sustainability.