At the height of my eating disorder, I wanted to feel nothing. Feeling something, especially fullness in my belly, meant I had screwed up royally. Yet that's exactly what my body wanted - fullness, satisfaction, needs met. The feeling wasn't the problem. The feeling was perfectly normal and healthy. It was only my faulty associations that made it seem bad or that made me afraid. Other people had good associations with that exact same feeling. To them it felt like happiness, comfort, satisfaction after a good meal. Now it feels that way to me too. It's something I look forward to several times a day, something that I know helps me to stay happy, healthy, and lean. It allows me to totally forget about food rather than being painfully obsessed and experiencing strong urges to overeat. It wasn't the physical feeling that changed. Just my thoughts about it.
That thing where I'd get so hungry I was shaky and tired and yet still have a big debate: "Do I eat? Do I not eat? Am I feeling ok? Do I have a snack with me? Should I wait? Well, maybe I'll have this. No, that's too much. I'll have that. But it's not what I want. I'll wait. Ugh, no, I can't wait. I'm going to pass out. I'll make a sandwich. No, a sandwich is too filling. Maybe I should have some fruit. No, I need protein. I don't want protein. I want all those cupcakes. That's crazy. I can't have cupcakes. Gum. That's it. I'll have gum."
That stupid paralyzing chatter is gone forever. Eat until you have a happily full belly and food doesn't cross your mind at all for many hours, not until it's time to happily fill up your belly again. Fullness is like an off switch for the insanity. That makes it a very good thing in my book!
Thanks for this post skwigg. I actually experienced this today. I can't believe that after all this time I can still feel anxious when I feel too full. I reminded myself of your post and continued on with my day. Sure enough it didn't take very long for the full feeling to disappear. In the past I would have eaten more because of the anxiety which is just so crazy! I remember reading Josie Spinardi's 'How to have your cake and skinny jeans' book how she described it as 'eating coz you ate' - so true!
Feeling too full is temporary. We don’t need to take crazy corrective action in that state. If we just wait and pay more attention to hunger and fullness, that feeling will go away quickly. It’s not permanent, not a crisis. It’s not even a reflection of weight or self worth. I still get too full sometimes, eat more than I need, have crazy weeks. That’s life. Unless you keep eating when not hungry and disregarding fullness over an extended period of time, it has no lasting impact on weight or wellbeing.