In the past, anytime I didn't know what I weighed and wasn't actively trying to control my food, I gained. This led me to believe I had to weigh myself frequently if I wanted to remain weight stable.
Hindsight and all, I can see that situation was a kind of gasping for food between periods of restriction. As much as I had worked on mindset and habits, not weighing still felt like letting my guard down, like now's my chance to eat freely without having to face the consequences. That is a lingering dieter mindset. "Woohoo! I'll go crazy now and fix it later."
This current state is something entirely new. Practicing the principles of intuitive eating and being more mindful of hunger and fullness is a different experience. I eat what I want and need to appetite regardless of what the scale is doing or whether I see it. Attuned eating is actually easier without the scale. The scale is an instrument of chaos. LOL Seeing the number can cause us to ignore or override what our body is clearly telling us. The more we do that, the more we struggle.
Exactly! The scale IS an instrument of chaos. Good wording. As much as I like to think it doesn't influence me, it does, in sneaky and not-so-sneaky ways. I'm better off without it.