My wellbeing has a conscious element. I think about what’s going to make me feel happy, healthy, energetic, fit, and strong. Eating mindlessly (or restrictively) does not produce that for me. Eating enough overall, eating food I love, when hungry, and to satisfaction does produce it. That definitely requires some conscious thought. My decisions aren’t guided by numbers on the scale necessarily, but how I want to look, feel, and perform while eating as many cookies as is feasible. Go tremendously overboard on the cookies (pasta, bacon, butter), and I’m not going to feel good physically or mentally. So, I’m definitely making decisions, and those decisions do affect my scale weight to a degree. More and more though, I realize that any sense of control I might have is a bit of an illusion. My body is calling the shots regardless. It will say (through its fullness, cravings, energy levels, mood), “Ok, that’s enough pizza. Extra rice now. Green vegetables, please. Definitely need cheese on that. For the love of God, no more beans today.” I’m picking up on the cues and thinking these are my original ideas. I could tell myself that I’m controlling my weight, but probably my body is playing me like a violin. If it needs energy, I can’t stop thinking about pie. If I flood it with fast food sodium, suddenly a potassium-rich green smoothie sounds amazing. I could tell a story about how my willpower failed and I ate too many french fries, or how I compensated with vegetables later to avoid weight gain, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening. My body is doing what it does and wanting what it wants regardless. There is only the degree of drama I project onto it. If I think it’s all on me to make every decision and control every variable, I’ll suffer more, but I’ll probably weigh the same.