I have always struggled with this dichotomy. I know there is a way to have both but I really struggle finding that middle ground. Emotionally, I am (momentarily) my happiest when I just wake up with no plan for the day. This often leads to sporadic but enjoyable eating- with barely any afterthought. What that might look like food-wise is waking up to some coffee, a protein bar in the early morning, maybe another snack, then a small meal when I get home, and then a big enjoyable dinner, often with some wine. The issue with this kind of eating is that I end up really snack-y at night, just with lots of cravings. Usually this can be attended to with some baby carrots and a few pieces of chocolate, but I can sense that this is also disturbing my sleep on some level, too. And often, Ill wake up once a night craving foods (what I guess is a blood sugar thing).
Now, if it wasn’t for the irregular sleep, I probably wouldn’t be as motivated to change my ways. It feels good, I don’t feel restricted, and I feel free of any food thought/guilt/worry. However, the sleep and late night snacking isn’t feeling good and I want to feel more balance around sleeping and waking.
The past week I decided to implement breakfast. Something small but satisfying to start. This was a piece of toast with full fat onion cream cheese and generous amount of lox. Surprisingly, it felt really stabilizing to eat, and energy-wise, I felt good. However, when it came to lunch, I felt especially challenged. While the content and amount varied, it was a mix of all three macros, eaten to satisfaction. One day it was a chicken/avocado/veggie wrap on this crepe thing. The other day it was some sushi. Lunch this week left me DEAD. It completely took away the normal high I get throughout the day. My mood, energy, and focus were gone. I came home that evening and wanted to go right into bed at 6:30pm. I didn’t and ended up going to an event with my boyfriend but I truly felt like shit. It’s not like this meal was very heavy, but it really knocked me out. However, that evening I had no desire to eat for the rest of the day, besides for a small snack, had deep sleep, and woke up light in the morning without a headache or a full belly.
So I guess, while this post is centered around the emotional framework, I am also wondering about the physiological effects of shifting food earlier in the day, eating more, and how to cope/if this is normal. I want to keep going because what I see on the other side is more balance and calm, but I also hate feeling low energy, obsessive, and moody during the day. Even thought I get more peckish at night with my original framework, it all feels calm and not overpowering at all- just not ideal in terms of feeling slightly physically unsatisfied by the end of the day. It is so ironic that when I eat LESS in the earlier part of the day, I have more energy to workout, be active, run around and be bouncy. But when I eat more during the day, I want to just not move, and the thought of a workout is so not even on my radar.
I know cortisol is definitely a part of the issue. I think I’ve been relying on it for quite some time….
Anyways, I would love if any of you have some advice to offer on the following:
How to plan food while still feeling free?
Changes in mood/energy with more daytime food.
Also, as a side note, I found a really cool show from the UK called the Secret Life of Slim People. It’s SO awesome. They secretly film people who are slim and have always been slim but don’t diet.
My experience with breakfast mirrors everyone else’s comments. I skipped it for a long time, felt like I didn’t need it and actually had more energy not eating it. But over time I came to realize that eating more in the morning led to more stable moods and more stable appetite the rest of the day, and for the first time I started not getting that insatiable snacky hunger at the end of the day. I used to only be able to workout on an empty stomach, no matter how long that meant waiting to eat, but at some point I now feel ready to run around at any time of day and feel that eating breakfast and lunch does give me better, true energy to use. I don’t recall paying enough attention to when the switch happened, although it was probably during a period after my most recent baby when I was pretty tired all day anyway and exercise wasn’t even on my radar, lol. Maybe it just takes some time to adjust to new patterns?
As for planning vs. spontaneity, personally I find that a structure like “three meals (not snacks) a day, most days” is enough flexibility that it’s ridiculously easy to stick to without any effort (given that societal norms and schedules are generally based on the 3-a-day structure) and I can still vary what, when, and how much I eat, but it’s enough structure and routine that my eating and hunger don’t end up getting off-balance.
Keep experimenting to find what feels most right and healthiest, and your body will probably both adapt and guide you at the same time.
So I got caught up in the intermittent fasting fad and for 2 years or so went without breakfast. I was never really hungry for breakfast before then anyway so it wasn't a hard transition. BUT, what l learned from my time doing IF is that the reason I wasn't really hungry in the morning both before during IF and during IF was because I ate SO MUCH at night. IF lead to health issues for me so I ended up going back to three structured meals. My "night eating" drastically reduced when I added breakfast and it reduced even further when I made sure breakfast and lunch were more substantial. I felt the same way as you when I first started eating more - tired, sluggish. From what I've learned about the body's adaptations in the face of restriction (both from Tabitha Farrar's migration theory and other sources), I do believe that the "energy" I felt from not eating while doing IF was all cortisol driven. And in the end this impacted my health negatively overall. For what it's worth, I still have an evening snack at around 8pm but that's because it's something I enjoy, not because I'm ravenous from not eating all day. Usually its an apple and some chocolate chips with a cup of decaf coffee. Its enough to meet my desire to just unwind and have some chocolate and a coffee but not so much that it impacts my hunger for breakfast in the morning.
I am still sorting through things myself. But one of the best things I started doing this past summer and autumn was eating breakfast. I was issues falling asleep or waking up every few hours at night. Generally I sleep like a rock. I noticed I had been skipping or delaying breakfast. It’s what I used to do when I was younger to stay lean. I also work from home and have a three year old child. So I let meal times become irregular and delayed, often not eating until early evening some days. Couple that with only eating 800-1500 calories for two years (as well as a fairly severe bout of postpartum depression and anxiety at the same time) and I was a mess. Breakfast has saved me. None of the people who believe cavemen never ate food in the morning and blood sugar will magically heal from not eating will convince me otherwise. That said. I wouldn’t have believed it had I not tried it myself. As I continue to eat breakfast, especially if I can eat it closer to waking up, I continue to feel better during the day and sleep better at night. I don’t have the stress hormones surging. My blood sugar is level, and my moods and energy are significantly better.
Whatever you want to do is fine. There's no big decision to be made. You can try some stuff, and then change your mind.
It does sound normal that if you're operating on coffee and a protein bar as your morning fuel, you're probably going to be stress-active all day and very hungry at night. I've been watching all these Tabitha Farrar videos lately about the "migration response," which is the thing that happens when food is scarce. Some of us are wired to eat even less and move even more in response to that hunger stressor, to get to an area with more food, theoretically. It doesn't seem like a fun way to go through the day to me, buzzing on stress hormones. I've experienced it with intermittent fasting, and of course with the eating disorder. Being fed, calm, and not at all hungry really rocks in comparison. If you're not used to eating meals, it may take some consistent effort at predictable meals for your blood sugar to adjust and stabilize around them, but it should. Still, you're free to choose! I feel about a million times better eating two-thirds of my daily food intake before noon. But I had to try that and be consistent with it to reap the benefits. If it made me feel terrible, I'd be trying something else.
I really enjoyed the Secret Life of Slim People. I think I watched it on YouTube.