I see being a badass old person as NOT allowing myself to get too lean or frail. I picture myself as more of a rugged peasant old person. I want to be able to break rocks with a hammer or carry a sheep up a hill. LOL Post-menopausal women need enough body fat to have enough estrogen to support strong bones. I also want enough fat that if I can't eat for a couple of weeks I'm not going to die from, say, the flu. Keeping this in mind really cuts down on any sneaky thoughts about getting smaller. I want to be sturdy. :-)
I was thinking today about how it feels to pursue health and fitness for the joy of being healthy and fit (what a concept), versus pursuing it for the sake of being as light, lean, and small as possible, to impress others, or to feel worthy. It's a night and day difference. If you had told me years ago that I would quit the gym, quit dieting, and quit worrying about weight, I would absolutely have assumed that meant I quit being fit. I couldn't have fathomed exercising or eating nutritious foods just for fun, but guess what? It's MORE fun without the obsessive madness. I do whatever I like. I eat whatever sounds good. I feel fantastic and perform well. I'm not depleted from restriction and compulsive scale watching. I'm not thinking about food all day. I'm not exhausted and injured from sticking to a plan at all costs. I'm stronger and more flexible. Nothing hurts. I look forward to working out, and if I'm not looking forward to it that day, I don't do it. So crazy! There's no dread. Willpower and motivation are not required. My whole life doesn't revolve around my diet and workout schedule. And this is the really hilarious part, my results are better. Overdoing it while restricting my food made me hungry, tired, and defiant. There was a lot of reactive eating going on, getting sick a lot, getting hurt a lot, verrrry moody. True health is mental, physical, and spiritual. It's not a weight or a size.