From skwigg's journal:
I had a conversation with Crazy Self yesterday. I noticed that my abs were looking a little soft during my workout and there was a brief flash of, "oh no too much bread all the cookies no more sandwiches freakin' pasta what was I thinking." So I did a quick reality check.
Q: What did I weigh this morning? A: Same as always.
Q: How are the clothes fitting? A: My tightest jeans are comfortable like lounge pants.
Q: How are the habits? A: Freakishly consistent.
Q: What week is this? A: Oh! (lightbulb appears over head) It's PMS week!
Q: Is it possible I'm retaining a little water and insanity right now? A: Yes, that explains it.
So, then I disregard the soft abs (or crazy eyes) and carry on.
Sometimes my reality checks will produce the opposite answers. Weight up, clothes tight, habits getting...creative. I still always consider the time of the month. I do have one hard rule when it comes to diet and exercise: I'm not allowed to make any judgments about my body or changes to my nutrition or workouts when I'm hormonal. If I wait it out, 95% of the time, everything is back to normal the following week without having done a thing to "fix" myself. If after the "PMS time out" (LOL) I'm still concerned, all I ever have to do is return to my habits. Am I eating 3 satisfying meals per day without snacking? Am I physically hungry before my meals and feeling light and empty before bed? Am I eating mostly whole foods? If I've been eating too many random snacks, or my portions have expanded enough that I'm not always hungry for meals, or I'm going to sleep at night still full from dinner, or I've been considering carrot cake a vegetable, I ease back into my habits. Being more mindful for a couple of weeks is always enough to send things trending in the right direction. Note that it's weeks (plural), not one day or a couple of meals and then if I don't see results I'm going to freak out. Results happen when I'm consistent for a long time. They don't happen any other way. So, I'll dial it in and then kick back and wait for the time to pass. Patience isn't a problem because the process itself is so enjoyable. I love my food. I love being hungry for a great meal. I love going to sleep at night happy with my choices. All of it feels good, and because of that, I'm not tempted to go on a grapefruit diet or start weighing chicken or anything crazy.
This is a post from skwigg's journal on the old site.
I've been having some strange and new-to-me body image thoughts. I'm feeling really happy and confident lately, totally comfortable in my skin. This even though I'm at the lighter, softer end of my normal range, not the lean, hard, heavy, muscular end. Like it's slowly dawning on me that it's ok to look like a woman and not an adolescent male skateboarder.
Since taking some shelves down in the bedroom, I now cast a silhouette on the wall when I'm getting dressed. I was amazed the first time I found myself standing next to this Jessica Rabbit looking shape. Is that me?! I had a flash of worry when I saw actual boobs and my crazy round glutes protruding, but then I was kind of mesmerized by it.
"What are you doing in there?"
"Oh, just looking at my butt shadow."
So, today I'm feeling all girly and excited about curves. PMS week is upon me though, so three days from now I may freak out and decide softness is weak and unacceptable and I must begin getting completely riptshizzled lean for no reason. Luckily I have that policy where I'm not allowed to make any judgments about my body or any changes to my eating habits when I'm hormonal. That has saved me from so much drama! Because nothing really changes except my perception. My body is the same as it has been for years. I just become worried or excited or fixated on different aspects depending on the hormones coursing through me and the media/messages I've been internalizing lately. That's kind of a revelation right there!