I shouldn't want to be smaller, but I really do! I shouldn't be so focused on how my body looks, but I really am! Here's a way of looking at it that alleviated that struggle for me. Why do I want my body to look a certain way? I want to be happy. I've convinced myself that getting smaller is the ticket to happiness. In fact, it just might solve ALL my problems. So "giving up" on it feels like giving up on being happy. It was a lightbulb moment to recognize the faulty logic. What do I really want? I want to be happy, healthy, confident, and at peace with food. I want to feel good and have energy. I want my behaviors and values to line up instead of being at odds. The more I focused on genuine health and happiness, the better everything got. The more I felt like my authentic self. Health isn't dieting. It's the big picture of mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. How you treat yourself matters. When you focus on treating yourself well, on being genuinely healthy and happy, it's a night and day difference from that weird hell of entering numbers in software and letting that determine how your day goes. Eat to feel nourished and satisfied. Move to feel good, be healthy, and have fun. Logic doesn't have to go out the window there. Consider nutrition. Consider how you want to feel after you eat. Consider what food will taste good and be emotionally satisfying. Think about what kind of exercise you actually enjoy. Approaching it all from a place of kindness and self-care changes everything. It feels completely different from trying to fix yourself or impress others.