I have values instead of goals. I value health, happiness, freedom, flexibility, fun, and fitness. Diet goals are totally at odds with my values, which is why they were always ineffective and short-lived. They actively compromise the things that are most important to me. I end up feeling trapped, anxious, and socially isolated. I have no energy for my workouts and no sense of humor. My health suffers, and because they result in "gasping for food" episodes, I end up eating like an idiot, which is definitely not a plus if you value health and fitness.
By emphasizing behaviors that are in line with my values, I enjoy the process and I'm happy with the results. I'll be active and exercise regularly, I'll enjoy my food, I'll laugh, I'll be mindful and consistent.
If I say I want to lose __ pounds by __ date, or that I want to be a size __, it's almost like giving myself a lobotomy. My behaviors will become completely inconsistent with who I am and what I hope to achieve.