”Never Finish a Restaurant Meal”

An example of a painful thought stream: “Never finish a restaurant meal, that's too much food. If you do finish a restaurant meal you're being a pig. Don't go back for seconds and especially not thirds. Everyone should be put off by the portion sizes in restaurants. People in our society are fat because they all eat too much.” How do those thoughts make you feel? If they hurt, that's the signal that they're not true and need to be questioned. Ask yourself the following about each statement: Is that true? Can I absolutely know that it's true? How do I feel or what happens when I believe that thought? Who would I be without that thought? Could the opposite also be true? You don't want to just wing through the answers. You want to sit with it for a bit and really feel the truth of what you're experiencing. It's not a quiz. It's more of an emotional, meditative practice, feeling the feelings and deciding which to keep and which to let go. If you think on each one, I'll bet you can see what a negative impact it has on your mindset and behavior, all the ways it causes you to suffer. You can also imagine what your life would be like without those thoughts, how you might experience restaurants and social gatherings completely differently. Looking at the list, think about how many turn-arounds there are for each statement, examples where the facts are misstated, don't apply to everyone, or the opposite could be even more true. There's no reason to embrace thoughts that cause you to suffer. There's always another way to look at it. You may recognize that you're hearing someone else's painful story in the statements. You don't have to take it on as your own. I can think of all kinds of reasons why someone might need or want more food, or why a restaurant portion isn't enough, or is just right, or doesn't mean anything at all in the big picture. I know from learning about obesity, diabetes, and insulin resistance, that it's a whole lot more complicated than "eat less, move more." In fact, pushed too far, that advice causes the very thing everyone is trying to prevent: raging appetite, constant cravings, slower metabolism, screwy hormones, and weight gain. It's not how much or what kind of food you eat, it's what your body does with the food, and that's very individual. You can't look at a random person's plate and assume anything at all. You're only projecting your own stuff. So, if you're exposed to someone else's food/weight/body comments, it's so important to realize that they are projecting their stuff. It's not fact. It doesn't apply to you or reflect on your choices.