Early in this amazing journey to freedom, stepping away from restriction and control can feel like a period of mourning. I can assure you that life, food, fitness, body confidence, all of it, only improves with this practice of listening to your body and trusting yourself. Where you are now and how you feel right now? It's so temporary. In six months, a year, fifteen years, everything you've learned and put into practice during this very early period in your recovery will serve you well. It will bring you joy, confidence, and a sense of freedom and endless possibility instead of, "Well hell, I'm stuck in this stupid body, eating this stupid way, and I hate it." LOL Which is kind of like restrict-o-brain having a tantrum, trying to lure you back. Recovery is new and uncomfortable. Restriction is at least old and familiar, even if it was awful. Give this way of eating and thinking time to become familiar and safe, time to align with the life you want for yourself. I tried so hard to "accept the unacceptable" but that was just a big, sad, woo-fest and never felt authentic or helpful. Instead, if I'm not thrilled with the present situation, I look forward to all the positive changes to come! Rethink how you talk to yourself. Saying, "It's not a problem" is only repeating the word "problem" over and over again, reinforcing to your brain that there is one. Try to avoid any statement with a negative + the thing you don't want. "Not a problem" is like "don't be sad" or "not a nightmare." What your brain is hearing over and over again is "sad, problem, nightmare." Instead, repeat to yourself what you DO want, expect, and hope to achieve, as if it's a done deal. "Will" "want" and "trying" cause all the same problems because you're reinforcing that where you are is not not good enough, that you're not there yet. It's so much more empowering to say, "I am" or "it is" like it has already happened. You don't want to lie to yourself and say something your mind won't believe, but you can state something positive or neutral about the amazing things you've achieved already and what you're looking forward to. State it as though it has already happened. "I'm enjoying new freedom." "I'm healthy and strong." "I trust my body." "It's an adventure." Practically speaking, I think people who experience rebound or overshoot weight early in recovery (which is everyone!!!) tell themselves that they're stuck, they're different, they're broken, that it's a new set point, that they'll continue to gain forever. That's such a universal experience. Know that you're not alone, and that your current body and mindset are temporary. Your understanding will continue to evolve and so will your body. I saw a little stone carving in a store window that is so appropriate for eating disorder recovery, the pandemic, all of it. The stone said, "It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end."