Picture generations of pregnant women all over the globe, for thousands of years, picking fruits and vegetables with unwashed hands and eating them on the spot. Yet somehow humanity survived and thrived. Be gentle with yourself. Restaurant salad is likely a healthier option than guilt. It’s great that your interests are expanding. My own social media feeds and viewing habits radically transformed when I let go of fear-based food restriction. Lots more humor, animals, nature, spirituality, and inspiration. I feel happy instead of drained or pressured to adhere to some new diet or fashion trend. It’s so important to get out of survival and stress modes and actually feel happy in your life each day. Career counseling could be really interesting. There are so many possibilities, things to look forward to and be grateful for. Anytime, the guilt and stress start looping, come back to the good things and look forward to more adventures. Worry is a habit. You can notice it and redirect it toward who and how you want to be. You’re doing great!

That’s fantastic! Starting now, you can mentally rehearse your joyful reaction to a higher weight next week. See yourself being grateful for a healthy pregnancy, for food freedom, for being able to stay present and enjoy this time in your life. The old fearful thoughts will try to run as usual, but you can shut them right down with gratitude and confidence. See yourself doing it. Imagine your ideal responses. That’s how we change those old programs. You’ve got this!

Thinking about food and wanting to eat IS a sign of physical hunger. Feeling foggy, trouble concentrating (because we’re thinking about food!). The first signs are so subtle. It’s only fear telling us that our stomach has to be gnawing on our spine before we can eat. That is no good, especially when fueling a healthy pregnancy. Give yourself the grace to eat joyfully as desired, and know that your body knows exactly what to do with the food. It’s literally building a human. You want to help it out rather than being a hinderance to the process. What I’ve found is that my body absolutely will self-regulate if I let it. There will be snacky, indulgent days, big meals, lots of social activities, and that automatically balances itself out over the following days and weeks. I naturally start to miss and look forward to more simple, healthy and satisfying meals, but the rigid structure is gone. My body and soul are calling the shots now and they are so much smarter and kinder than restrict-o-brain. 🤪 Trust that nature knows what it’s doing when it guides you with cravings, food thoughts, nausea, or repulsion. Lean into that and you’ll find a friend for life. Everything is not a battle, which was also news to me. 😃

You’re doing great challenging those restrictive thoughts. I know I’ve said this before but I’m basically never hungry when I eat. I snack every day. I don’t let myself get physically hugry if I can help it. The benefits of being well-fueled are so dramatic. I’m stronger and I have more endurance. I sleep better. Anxiety and insomnia are nonexistent. I’m no longer obsessed and stressed about every little thing. Chronic hunger messes us up in so many ways. I don’t miss binge urges. Those just ceased to exist when food was no longer restricted and judged. I still like to eat healthy whole food, and sweets, and rich restaurant food, and ultraprocessed food, all the food. When I’m not mildly-starved all the time, there is no impulse to be crazy around food at all. It’s absolutely worth it to challenge those old thoughts and behaviors. It feels difficult in the moment but the health and happiness payoff is amazing. You can do it! You deserve to feel your best and enjoy your life.

I see quasi-recovery as just a normal step in recovery. At first, we're bound to do our "recovery rules" with the same level of fear and judgment as our restriction rules. We may be eating more, including more foods, maintaining a higher weight, whatever the goal, but we do it rigidly with a lot of fear and judgement. So, at first, the behaviors change but the mindset doesn't. It's when the mindset starts shifting that we begin to experience genuine freedom and confidence. So, it's not that we're nailing our new food plan; it's that we're not thinking about it. We're busy with other, more joyful stuff. That's been my problem. I struggle to write about food anymore because I don't think about food anymore. I'm still a happy, healthy, fit person, but I no longer have that steady stream of nutrition thoughts that I can come and type about. That has been both liberating and awkward. It's why I come here and write about my houseplants. I don't know what to say about food anymore. I get hungry or want some food, then I eat what I want, then I don't think about it. When the fear/control/judgment die down, there isn't much else to say, and that's awesome! Listening to your body and giving it what it wants is a huge step toward health and freedom, not just that, but doing it without fear. I feel like those fear and judgment thought patterns were just habits. I talked to myself that way because I'd always done it, not because it was effective or helpful. If you can catch those old thoughts and laugh at them, watch them curiously, or let go of them, that will do more for genuine recovery than anything having to do with food or fitness. Your habitual thoughts, the way you talk to and treat yourself are the heart of the issue. Be kind. Be love. Live love. Once you turn it in that direction, there is no stopping a beautiful, healthy life from unfolding. I hope your checkup went well. You come here and journal about food, fitness, and life all you want. I'm always thrilled to hear from you! I feel like there is this core group of us who have just been through it together all these years. I'm always wishing everyone well, excited to hear any kind of updates. The first time you posted after several years away, I think I actually jumped up and down! 😃

My husband and I are still doing mostly Lift with Cee workouts. We mix it up with some Pavel kettlebell workouts, some ChatGPT (who can write any kind of workout we want using the equipment we have), and sometimes we just bicker back and forth and wing it. We keep the simplicity. This “nothing fancy, very consistent” approach has been super effective without burnout.

Ah, everything is connected, so if the feet are unstable, that could move on up the chain. It sounds like you have several things at play. Hopefully, one or two of your adjustments start to make a difference. Back pain sucks. I had a big, weirdly solid, stupidly expensive Tempurpedic pillow for side sleepers. I finally realized it was killing my neck. It must have been cranking my head up too high when I was on my side. That pillow was a solid piece of foam. I switched from that to a memory foam pillow with loose fill inside that moved around and adjusted to my head better. It was half the price and far more comfortable. It had a nice bamboo cover that was cooling. I wrecked it by sleeping with castor oil on my face. I was pretty in the morning, but the pillow became gross and the oil wouldn't wash out. LOL I got another similar pillow with the loose fill. There are lots of them on Amazon. My husband and I are still doing these Lift with Cee workouts. We don't usually follow along with the video. Her new blonde wig freaks me out and he squirms at her music choices, but the workouts are great! I watch and take notes, or sometimes she includes the workout in the description. I still love the simplicity and effectiveness of what she does.

It’s great that you’re eating better and feeling better. I can sort of relate in that my husband and I did a couple years of “healthy” low-fat vegan after his cancer diagnosis. In hindsight, it was totally fear-driven and not so healthy. Gobs of plants, but we were basically starving. Tired, weak, muscle loss, brain fog, hair falling out, nails splitting. Putting back ALL foods and eating in a more balanced way was a miracle. We’re both strong, healthy and happy again. I’m glad to hear you’re experiencing the benefits of better nutrition. It’s funny (or not) how many times I’ve needed to relearn this lesson.

Shrinking season two starts this week on AppleTV. I can't wait! I watched Penelope on Netflix. It's a YA thing about a teenage girl who runs away to the wilderness. The cinematography is gorgeous. There's not a lot of dialogue because, alone in the wilderness. I found it very soothing.

Here are a couple more links: https://youtu.be/Mdr82lIN510 https://squatuniversity.com/2018/06/21/the-mcgill-big-3-for-core-stability/amp/

Snail, you should have zero pain in your low back when lifting. Back pain is not normal and shouldn’t be ignored. It’s never the kind of thing you can just push through without causing more and worse problems. A number of different things can cause it. It may be core instability, a muscle imbalance, an angry disc, poor form, too much weight, or overuse from doing too much. It could also be a low-back issue unrelated to lifting, like the way you sleep, that is flaring up when you add weight to it. Core instability is always a prime suspect. You can get away with it easily using light weights but it becomes really apparent under a heavy load. I love the physical therapy advice from Squat University. Here is a video and an article you may find helpful. https://youtube.com/shorts/s9kxPlkGdJw https://squatuniversity.com/2018/04/28/how-to-screen-your-low-back-pain/amp/ Definitely don’t keep doing anything that hurts. You may need to use lighter weights or substitute a different exercise variation that doesn’t trigger the pain. I have had horrible, crippling low back pain in the past. Pilates helped because it taught me to find and maintain “neutral spine.” Buying a memory foam mattress that kept my spine neutral while sleeping also helped. My bed was terrible when I was having the worst back troubles. I hope you’re able to discover the culprit. If it only happens when you lift, that’s actually a good thing. Some stability exercises and adjustments to your technique should make a world of difference and allow you to lift heavier with no back pain.

Wow! Great pics. Your curls are beautiful! I was so excited when I got the notification and saw there were curl photos. 🤩

I’m really enjoying Charlie Follows for my yoga lately. No music. What I like about music in my earbuds is it blocks out the sound of my husband’s television. Nothing like yoga with a war movie blaring in the background. 🤣 🧘‍♀️ In Charlie Follows videos, I can often hear birds or running water. Nature sounds are good.

I may have to check out America’s Sweethearts. The cheerleader/dance genre always sucks me in. I think it was you who first mentioned Dance Life here. I usually find that kind of thing very entertaining. There’s so much behind-the-scenes drama, and the people can practically fly!

The Bear, season three. I enjoyed it. I'm a little annoyed that it ended as it did. It felt like there should have been five more episodes in the season.

Most of her workouts hit each muscle group only once and for multiple sets. So, glutes/hamstings, chest, back, shoulders, biceps, triceps, abs. It’s the kind of classic bodybuilding I hadn’t done in 20+ years, which is what makes it fun and different, but yeah, there are plenty of other options. I feel like if I’m doing six heavy sets of leg exercises (2 exercises, 3 sets each), as in her 30 minute workouts, that’s plenty of opportunity to semi-cripple myself and feel sore the next day. I didn’t love her 20-minute series with only one lower body exercise. There are some kettlebell exercises that can’t be done with dumbbells, like swings. I often use dumbbells for things like cleans and snatches though, so I don’t smash my Apple Watch. I’ll check out some of those YouTube channels. Thanks!

Have you tried muting the audio? There’s no reason to listen if you can see what an instructor is doing. I often mute or turn workout audio very low, sometimes listening to my own music. For Lift With Cee, the workout is in the description box of the video (you have to click around and hit “more…”). I will screenshot that and do it on my own if it’s a workout I’m familiar with. I would also love some new workout channels to check out. Lately, I’ve been writing my own workouts for my husband and I, but I love getting ideas from others. I still enjoy Pavel’s kettlebell workouts and Charlie Follows yoga channel.

It’s great that you found a professional who knows about endocrine and fertility issues. It sounds like you are headed in the right direction with everything.

I always loved Georgie’s suggestion to think in terms of a goal life and not a goal weight. See yourself happy, healthy, confident, peaceful, and accomplishing everything you want in life. Move toward that with your thoughts and actions. The old fears and restrictions hold us back from what we most want in life. Releasing them can feel uncomfortable because it’s unknown. It requires us to change, but it’s not dangerous. I remember there being such a fight-or-flight feeling associated with my food choices. Turns out it’s not that perilous. My own thinking was the scariest thing happening. Questioning those fears and automatic reactions is a huge part of it. Think about who and how you want to be going forward. At fist, it’s dozens or hundreds of times a day that you have to consciously redirect unhelpful thoughts and emotions, but then it gets so much easier. Peace becomes the default, and we actually take much better care of our body and health when operating from a place of peace and not terror or judgment. You’ve got this!

You may find it helpful to focus on nourishing yourself, mentallly, physically, and emotionally. Nourishment and gratitude. When making food choices or engaging in self-talk, ask “Is this kind? Is it nourishing?” Every time you make conscious choices in that direction - for your future, for your happiness, for love - let the feelings of joy, health, and gratitude wash over you. It will change everything. It’s not even about calories or your body. It’s letting go of the old fears so you can move forward. Those old ways of thinking don’t serve you or protect you anymore. Think in terms of nourishing your body, your baby, and your own soul. That will include plenty of nutritious foods, but with more variety, more joy, less judgement and fear.