People are insane around food and weight. I don’t blame them. I was exactly the same way. If you’ve been doused in diet culture and have never learned to question it, you will blame, shame, and hurt others the same way you do yourself. Hurt people hurt people. Scared people scare people. Someone who is self-conscious about their own food choices will project that “concern” onto others’ choices. They’re displaying their own issues and insecurities. That doesn’t make it any more fun for you, but it really is about them. The normal human response to those comments is to think, “Oh, no. They’re right!” It feels that way because we all have the same fear of rejection and desire to be accepted and admired. A random person can say exactly what your diet brain is thinking because theirs is thinking the same thing. We’ve all been exposed to it, kind of like a virus. You can build up your immunity though! You can heal.
I think an important part of “eyes on your own plate” is not internalizing other people’s comments and issues. It’s natural that people have issues and blurt things. Taking it personally and suffering is totally optional. I choose not to do that anymore because it sucks. One totally offhanded comment could ruin my mood and behaviors for a week. I’d get so angry at the other person. I’d want to correct them, change them, show them! I truly didn’t realize that my “triggered” response was all me, and that the other person was likely as innocent and easily hurt as I was. Thinking about it in terms of compassion and connection felt a lot better.